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Audrey Assad wowed us with her debut release, The House You're Building, earlier this year. Audrey sat down to reflect on Christmas, the baby Jesus, and growing closer to God through suffering.
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Audrey Assad's Christmas Devotional: He Knows Our Needs
When I was young, Christmas smelled like peppermint and rang like sleighbells. I used to wander in awe through the ornaments display at a local store, torn over whether to choose glistening gold star or a sparkling white snowman—my mother let us pick one every year. I’d lay with my feet on the floor heater in the mornings, eating chocolates and reading about King Arthur. The windows found my face every morning pressed against their panes, looking up at the sky and daring it to snow. The tree with its needly droppings made our living room a forest. And when Christmas Day finally came, I tore my way through the paper and tape to whatever long-coveted items lay hidden in boxes and bags. And then, all too soon, it was over. Back to the grind, and counting down the days till the next time Christmas came around.
I’m older now--twenty seven this year--and things have greatly changed. My parents divorced a few years back, and presents simply stopped mattering. All the Scotch-taped, snow-flaked wrapping paper and salted hot chocolate in the world couldn’t add to my happiness. Festivity felt faded and hollow, like a long-empty house. Now, as every holiday season brings about yet another confrontation with reality, I have been forced to look for some other reason to love Christmas.
I’ll never forget the year I finally encountered baby Jesus. Oh, I’d seen Him before, in nativity scenes and on Christmas cards...but I’d never really come face to face with Him in my prayers or in my piety. Then one Christmas Eve a few years ago, I was housesitting alone, watching EWTN Christmas specials, and mourning the loss of family and holiday. I laid down in bed, despondent. I’m not sure what spurred me to do what I did next, but I am glad it happened; I laid on my side and put my arms out in front of me in a cradle shape. I imagined that I was holding the infant Christ. I watched Him shift and settle in and out of sleep; He murmured and cooed like a tiny turtledove. I cried my tears to Him, and learned the meaning of the words, “He knows our needs; to our weakness He’s no stranger.” O Holy Night, indeed. I fell asleep like that, with my arms out in front of me, and tears running down my face...a beautiful suffering...I knew Jesus better that night than I ever had before, and He couldn't even talk yet.
Whatever you are experiencing this Christmas, remember that Christ becoming Man changed everything forever. He knows what you suffer, and the pain that you face. God is truly with us. Turn your eyes upon Him, the holy infant, and see your God come down to be with you.
"The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger, in all our trials born to be our friend. He knows our needs, to our weakness is no stranger; Behold, your King! Before Him lowly bend." - from O Holy Night, by Placide Cappeau.
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