It’s not always easy knowing the difference between Mr. (Ms.) Right or Wrong. If we find ourselves overenamored—our judgment may be clouded and we may not see what could be obvious to our family and close friends. Yet before a relationship really takes off, it would be wise to step back and make sure the following 6 warning signs aren’t waving red flags in your dating relationship.
Warning Sign #1) He or she isn’t a believer.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
It should be no surprise that God doesn’t want His children dating people outside of the faith. However, many believers make the mistake of thinking they can change or influence their date into the faith. This is never a good idea. Make your witness and his or her lost soul a greater priority than seeking a relationship.
Warning Sign #2) He or she resists socializing you with their close family, friends, or church family.
“You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice” (Song of Solomon 8:13).
Perhaps not on the very first date, but it’s important to get to know the people your significant other socializes with on a regular basis. You will be able to pick up on things spoken and unspoken that will give you insight into the person you’re dating. Trust in the Lord’s discernment to lead you in the right direction in your conversations.
Warning Sign #3) He or she demonstrates a critical or controlling atttitude about you or other people especially those in the church.
“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth” (James 3:14).
There’s a huge difference between people who are controlling versus those who are concerned. If your heart is vulnerable, you may not initially see the difference. A controlling person can’t relax and trust you with your instincts. Be alert to the tendencies of a controlling person especially when your feedback or opinions aren’t as important (or respected) as theirs.
Warning Sign #4) He or she has tendencies towards sexual immorality and/or are overly intimate in their affections.
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3).
A man or woman who struggles with their sexual urges in your premarital relationship has revealed a major struggling block in their spirituality. If you are feeling pressured to violate your conscience or purity, it’s time for you to step back from this person. True agape love is expressed by those who are more committed to God than to their fleshly weaknesses.
Warning Sign #5) He or she has an issue following through with their words and/or actions.
“All you need to say is a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’” (James 5:12).
Being a person of integrity is a great foundation for any relationship. A person who speaks lies in the little things will lie in bigger ways. Be on guard for making excuses for a man or woman who fail to follow through with their words or actions. The Lord gives you discernment between truth and a lie—depend on the Bible as your standard for truth.
Warning Sign #6) He or she refuses to take personal responsibility for faults or failures.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).
Pride keeps people from admitting their faults and covering up sins. Every growing relationship comes to a point of disagreement. If your significant other has difficulty confessing their shortcomings, don’t walk away from this relationship…run! Only Jesus was perfect and without sin. It will be a difficult relationship to balance if you’re the only one with sin issues.
Right or Wrong?
There are people who know how to “play” church without really being true believers of Jesus Christ. If you stay open and sensitive to the leadings of the Holy Spirit, He will reveal the truth to you. He can also use other believers to share their concerns if something seems off. Keep your heart free to hear clearly from God and others.
Your best focus in the relationship isn’t on the individual, but is focusing your mind on Christ. Be cognizant of your flesh—desires that yearn to be fulfilled such as sex, affection, companionship, etc. In marriage, these are beautiful and wonderful ways to find fulfillment in the unity of Christ. Outside of marriage, these same desires can destroy your soul and comprise your testimony. Choose Mr. or Ms. Right by choosing and following your Lord Christ with all your heart.
Article by Crystal McDowell
Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.
Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at http://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.
