There are times when couples will have a season of long distance relationship through choice or circumstance. These types of situations require trust, openness, and responsibility on the part of both people. It’s not impossible to grow a relationship without physically seeing each other; however, it’s not for everyone. Those who make this commitment must be honest with themselves before agreeing to it. Here are 7 tips for making it work:
Tip #1) Maintain contact as much as possible.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
In this day and age of technology, it’s possible to see each other every day if necessary through the Internet. What matters most is that the effort is being made to keep in contact. Hand-written letters are a rarity due to email and texting; yet it’s special to receive warm words from the one you love. The encouragement of communication can keep a relationship alive and vibrant.
Tip #2) Recognize the beauty of being apart for a season.
“So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her” (Genesis 29:20).
It’s much easier to take your significant other for granted when you see each other every day. However when you are physically apart, there’s a greater awareness of your affection and need for each other. Use this time to appreciate the small sacrifices and moments you had together. Absence can make the heart grow fonder and more appreciative.
Tip #3) Establish regular prayer and devotional time together.
“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20).
Because the Lord can be everywhere all the time—He’s the connecting point in your relationship. By praying and studying the Scriptures together, you allow your hearts to be united in the Spirit that will grow your relationship deeper. There’s a beauty in a marriage or relationship that is founded on obedience to God’s word. Your relationship with God individually and as a couple will be the foundation of an enduring companionship.
Tip #4) Find creative ways to express your love from a distance.
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
Because of your time apart, you will think about each other more. During this time you can discover new ways of expressing your love. Sending small, unexpected tokens of your affection can bring much joy to your partner. Pray and ask the Lord for creative ideas that will speak volumes to their hearts.
Tip #5) Plan ahead for activities to do when loneliness sets in.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
Expect that there will be times of loneliness so that you can prepare ahead of time. Getting involved in other activities rather than sitting around missing your loved one can help you grow as an individual. Choose activities that will benefit both of you when you are united again. Taking classes—workout, cooking, budgeting or learning a new skill can help you engage your time without feeling lonely.
Tip #6) Use this time apart to grow closer to God.
“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord” (Psalm 89:15).
Relationships in addition to working and other responsibilities can take away from your time with God. If a season of separation has come—set aside quiet time for prayer and meditation with God. During this time away from your loved one, you should be growing closer in your relationship with God. By spending more time with the Lord, you will become a better companion for your loved one.
Tip #7) Devote more time in building the kingdom of God.
“Do everything you can to help Zenas the lawyer and Apollos on their way and see that they have everything they need” (Titus 3:13).
Whatever ministry you are involved in—there is always a need for help. While your first responsibility to the church should engage your spiritual gifts from God, you may now have more time to be stretched in areas you haven’t really grown in. Whether it’s the music ministry, children’s church, or maintenance needs, you can fill up your time with building the kingdom of God right where you live.
Absence without Regret
God knows your heart and situation. He is able to help you through a season of separation from your loved one. It’s God’s will that you put Him first so that your relationship will grow in the Lord’s timing and purpose. Keep the focus on Jesus and be willing to go to a little extra trouble to keep your relationship growing in spite of the distance apart.
Article by Crystal McDowell
Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.
Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at http://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.
